This Break-Up Broke Me. Have You Ever Been There?
It's okay if it did. I'm feeling it, too.
God, Please Help Him Reconsider
Kevin texted me 4 days after dumping me.
“If this is it,” I requested, “at least let’s have this conversation face to face.” We’d been locked in a bitter disagreement for hours over the phone about something I thought would draw us closer.
I got up, brushed my teeth again. Should I put on something cute to make me irresistible? Should I bring flowers? Of course, on the phone I played as if this face to face confrontation would be closure but my secret hope was that this time, as many others, him and I seeing each other would bring this disagreement, but not our relationship, to a pleasant end.
I arrived at his place. Walked to the elevator that he’d retrieve me from many times. Called his number and said, “I’d like to come up if you don’t mind.” Firmly, “No” Kevin responded, “I’ll come down.”
As he appeared from around the elevator, I opened my arms for a hug as I’d done many times. He walked passed me to lead me outside so he could hear my closing arguments. It slowly started to settle in that this was our end.
For the first time ever, I fought for this man. I laid my ego aside, conceded my arguments and pleaded for another try. He, as I hoped he wouldn’t, stood the firmest ground and we ended.
Our close was an unexpectedly gentle hug. I could feel him collapse just slightly into my arms as I did the same into his. We both sniffled once until he walked back to the same elevator without looking back.
We ended…until four days later when he texted me.
Accept What God Allows
I tried to suffocate my sorrows unsuccessfully.
That night was filled with THC vape pens and whiskey. The weekend was a flurry of meaningless sex and alcohol.