I Couldn't Cum for Six Days
Obedience is better than sacrifice.
He Told Me Not To Cum
“I want to edge you on Saturday. Can you not cum until then?”
I’d never been edged. Since my sexual debut, I just knew that the sausage, in fact, must go somewhere. So preparing for, linking for, and engaging for the purpose of a hand job always felt like a let down.
But this particular person, a regular of mine, is a bator and edger. We’d talked about b8 parties he attends and groups he’s a part of. I’d always thought it was pancaking and my dick would not deal with the prodding. But I like this man and he likes me and my dick, so I thought I’d oblige.
We’d been locked in a week’s long conversation as he tried to help me understand the allure of bating. “You submit to your dick and your dick submits to me,” he told me. I’d never read a sentence with so many words that rubbed me the wrong way.
What does submitting to my dick even look like? Why would one want to submit to their dick? What pleasure to be had from that process?
Then eventually, my curiosity peaked and my ADHD took over. I was in a midnight deep dive as to how bating and edging works. I’d downloaded podcasts, scrolled endlessly through bator’s pages til I found it—gooning.
Men who are so wrapped up in pleasing their penis that, for the time their locked in, nothing else matters. I’d always felt that way with intercourse—I’m so locked into eating and stroking and pleasing that nothing else matters. The house could burn down around me and my entanglement and my dick will remain at the ready. But these men have found that escape—one I thought could only come through penetration—in bed alone with themselves and their dong.
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I shared my new finding—the conjecture I’d discovered—with my regular. I’m telling him how I can identify with gooners and how I’m excited to try. That’s when he hit me with, “I’m going to edge you on Saturday. Don’t cum until then.”
Submission
For the first day, I thought “just don’t touch your dick”.
But I’m a wake and stroke kind of guy. My dick is the first thing I touch in the morning, before even the alarm clock on my phone. He comforts me when I’m bored and calms me when I have anxiety. My dick is my lifeline so not engaging with him for 6 days felt like an impossible feat.